I am the bored.
I have lived the life of a coward. A coward who knew he was a coward, but who refused to accept it. I am not sure if people generally behave this way - not accepting what they know to be the truth, but i assume, it comes naturally to a lot of people. And I am one of them. A coward. I am also a coward who refused to try new things. Refusal does not come naturally to me, probably I refused to be natural, which is in a way a damning statement about my rate of refusals. Refusing to try and refusing to be natural when refusal is not natural.
I am not just the bored. I am the defeated. And the confused.
I am not confused because I am ignorant about the world. I am confused because I am not ignorant of a few things in the world which I should have been ignorant of. Now I cannot ignore. I cannot pretend that I don't care too. Because pretending is ignoring. Ignoring my self. Note that my self is not equal to myself. There is a lot of difference on a fundamental level. While the space between me and self is very philosophical the spacelessness between me and self smacks of selfishness. I am not selfish. As i said, just a tad confused. Do not confuse it with me being ignorant about the world. Did i say that already? Yes. Do not get too confused about my confusion. It is my nature to be confused. I am a natural. But didn't I just say i refuse to be a natural? I think it should not be taken out of the context. I digress.
I am the bored, the defeated, and the confused. And also the digressed.
It is not for me to point out my digressions. I am not talking about life, of which there are many, but I am talking about the statements that I make on my life, of which there are many too. I think your point about both being the same is valid. I don't deny that. I cannot. I don't have the intellect to deny it nor the heart. I am the bored, remember? And the defeated too, comprende? So I am the digressed. I jump from the wooden plank to the roaring sea like the pirate who never quite figured out the difference. He knew it was death jumping in, but it was death standing on the wooden plank too, especially when there was a handful of people having their hands filled with knives and swords. And i prove my point about being the digressed. Hope I make enough sense.
I am not just the bored, the defeated, the confused, and the digressed. I am the less hoped too. Whatever that means.
I have lived the life of a coward. A coward who knew he was a coward, but who refused to accept it. I am not sure if people generally behave this way - not accepting what they know to be the truth, but i assume, it comes naturally to a lot of people. And I am one of them. A coward. I am also a coward who refused to try new things. Refusal does not come naturally to me, probably I refused to be natural, which is in a way a damning statement about my rate of refusals. Refusing to try and refusing to be natural when refusal is not natural.
I am not just the bored. I am the defeated. And the confused.
I am not confused because I am ignorant about the world. I am confused because I am not ignorant of a few things in the world which I should have been ignorant of. Now I cannot ignore. I cannot pretend that I don't care too. Because pretending is ignoring. Ignoring my self. Note that my self is not equal to myself. There is a lot of difference on a fundamental level. While the space between me and self is very philosophical the spacelessness between me and self smacks of selfishness. I am not selfish. As i said, just a tad confused. Do not confuse it with me being ignorant about the world. Did i say that already? Yes. Do not get too confused about my confusion. It is my nature to be confused. I am a natural. But didn't I just say i refuse to be a natural? I think it should not be taken out of the context. I digress.
I am the bored, the defeated, and the confused. And also the digressed.
It is not for me to point out my digressions. I am not talking about life, of which there are many, but I am talking about the statements that I make on my life, of which there are many too. I think your point about both being the same is valid. I don't deny that. I cannot. I don't have the intellect to deny it nor the heart. I am the bored, remember? And the defeated too, comprende? So I am the digressed. I jump from the wooden plank to the roaring sea like the pirate who never quite figured out the difference. He knew it was death jumping in, but it was death standing on the wooden plank too, especially when there was a handful of people having their hands filled with knives and swords. And i prove my point about being the digressed. Hope I make enough sense.
I am not just the bored, the defeated, the confused, and the digressed. I am the less hoped too. Whatever that means.
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